Dream Residue
Anonymous:
The problem is not that when you were young, you weren't told that eating chips would make you big. The problem is that you grew up with the mentality that being small is beautiful and being big is not. No matter what shape or size you are, you are beautiful and you are allowed to love yourself. Size doesn't define beauty nor does it define ugliness. Don't associate the words huge and fat with words like disgusting. You are beautiful ❤️ Don't listen to society's standards & ideas of beauty

thank you sweetheart, i know you’re right. sometimes i see myself as powerful and beautiful and like an absolute queen or goddess, and no matter what i see other people that are my size like that all the time. i never associate bigger people with words like disgusting. that’s just aimed at myself. i don’t like the way i look at this size. other people look fkn badass. but i don’t. and i’ve seen what i can look like. and that wasn’t even anything compared to what i know i could look like. i want to be comfortable in my body and i know i should be now and that i should be doing this because i love myself enough to improve but i want to improve and that’ll have to be enough for now. i find it so hard to do this when my head is in the state it’s still in but i’ve been trying. fuck knows i’ve been trying for years to be able to continue long enough and remain dedicated long enough to see actual results. i’m doing this 10 day plan, and while i’m not following the exact eating plan i’m still eating healthy, and i’m thinking that after this i may give the 30 day shred another go, because i know for sure that my body will respond to that.

Anonymous:
I'm not the anon involved in the thing with your bro, I just saw the messages. And you could tell your parents at least and they could be the ones to deal with it? He is their child after all so it's more their responsibility than yours. And they would have authority over him so him yelling hopefully won't be an issue

after everything i’ve put them through with my bullshit mental problems, they honestly wouldn’t be able to handle hearing that. and what would i tell them? an anon on tumblr told me? and he would most definitely yell at them, and it’s worse than when he yells at me because they just take it lying down, they won’t hell at him back, whereas i would. i know it’s probably important to intervene but do you see the position im being put in? i’d like the anon to actually talk to me properly, or even directly confront my brother or tell someone else. i don’t want to sound selfish but my plate is full, i don’t know how to deal with other people’s problems without making them worse.

done day 4, even though when i started i was almost crying with anger. but it’s done and i probably haven’t eaten enough today. there’s a lot on my mind, including a lot of self-harm thoughts.

Any little FUCKING THING I KNOW MY BODY AND I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY I DONT KNOW WHY I EVEN GO TO YOU FUCKING PEOPLE